


The Santa Barbara Purr-lice Department

by SerpentineJ



Category: Psych
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, F/M, Fluff, M/M, p much everyone makes an appearence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-14
Updated: 2015-06-14
Packaged: 2018-04-04 08:04:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4130520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerpentineJ/pseuds/SerpentineJ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The SBPD is home to a whole host of curious characters: Shawn takes risks, Gus hogs the sweets, Lassie solves crimes, and Jules does a lot of peacemaking. Karen and Henry do their best to manage the shop, despite the catty antics of their feline compatriots.</p><p>Oh, did I forget to mention? The SBPD is a cat café.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Santa Barbara Purr-lice Department

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: I don’t even know what this is I’m so sorry

“Gus!” Shawn meows from his perch atop one of the wall cabinets. “I bet I can make it to the top of the fridge!”

Gus looks up from licking his paws, casting a glance that’s half-worried, half-sardonic at the other cat. “Shawn, you’re gonna fall and I’m not cleaning you up.”

Spencer crouches, head down, rump waggling in the air.

“Shawn-”

It’s too late- he jumps with a yowl, front paws outstretched, and Gus starts. His eyes widen and his tail fluffs as he jumps to his feet.

“Shawn!” He says, glossy brown coat on-end. “Shawn, you dumbass!”

“I’m fine, buddy!” The other cat mewls down, poking his head over the edge of the top of the fridge, green eyes mischievous.

Juliet saunters up, trotting delicately to sit next to Gus.

“What kind of stunt is Shawn pulling now?” She meows, voice lightly amused, blonde fur as sleek and meticulously neat as ever. “Chief Vick’s going to put him in a collar again.”

Shawn’s nose twitches.

Gus sighs, drawing a paw over his ear. He turns to the female cat, tail weaving slowly through the air. “And how are you, Jules?”

“Great, actually.” Juliet responds, eyes lighting up in excitement. “That guy in the beanie from yesterday left one of those comic books on the counter- it’s the new MARVEL issue!”

“Seriously?” The other cat gets to his feet. “Where?”

They begin to walk off, ignoring Shawn’s calls.

“Gus?” He mewls, ears twitching. “Buddy? A little help?”

~~~~~~

“He’s a thief, O'Hara.” Lassiter growls, tail swishing agitatedly though the air behind him. “And I’m gonna prove it.”

“Carlton.” His partner admonishes. “He’s not stealing from you.”

The black cat fixes electric-blue eyes on the blonde beside him. “Then what,” he begins, “happened to my weapon?”

Juliet shakes her head exasperatedly- despite his detective prowess, Lassiter is very paranoid sometimes. Much of the time.

“It’s not a weapon, Lassiter.” She meows, slightly sarcastically. “It’s a stuffed plush.”

“Of a gun!”

“And that’s the only reason you let Conforth pet you.”

Carlton rolls his eyes. “Well, he made an effort.” He stands up and stretches, limbs languid, and looks around for a patch of sunlight. “And he lets me read the police reports he brings in, though he’s a little spineless.”

O'Hara chuckles. “It’s very cute.”

“I am not cute, O'Hara.” He scowls. “And you’re one to talk, with your thing with that Declan.”

“What?” Juliet cocks her head. “He’s a very nice guy.”

~~~~~~

“Hello, Shawn.” The blonde man shrugs off his leather jacket- soft, buttery brown leather- and scratches the cat behind the ears. “Had your breakfast yet?”

The chocolate tabby purrs, arching into Despereaux’s touch, and Pierre smiles before removing his hand to store his messenger bag into his employee cubby.

“Come on.” He beckons, walking away into the kitchens. “Let’s get you cats some food before we open.”

Shawn mewls and follows him, waiting eagerly as the man filled the four bowls on his tray with what he scoops from the container he took from the fridge- Despereaux glances down at him and chuckles, tossing him a piece of fish from a can on the counter.

“Food!” He calls as he makes his way into the main room, pausing and setting the tray down for a moment to flick on the power of the coffee machine behind the bar.

The four felines immediately trot to the feeding area, Juliet and Gus taking a moment to rub against Pierre’s legs in a greeting. Despereaux smiles and leaves them to eat.

“Stop it, Shawn!” Gus scowls as Shawn’s tail whaps his back in its thrashing. “I’m trying to eat here!”

“Dude, I can’t help it if I get excited at food time!” The other cat looks up and mewls, mouth half full. “Plus, this is my favorite.”

O'Hara purrs a laugh. Carlton rolls his eyes.

“Plus Despereaux is your favorite human.” Gus meows sarcastically.

Lassiter finally speaks up. “Despereaux.” He growls. “That man is an art thief.”

Juliet shakes her head, exasperated in the way of someone who has had a particular argument many times with the same results. “He is not a thief, Carlton. He’s a very talented artist.”

“He copies famous works of art!”

“For experience! Not to sell them as the original!”

The other cat scowls. “It’s still forgery.”

“You’re just jelly, Lassie-paws.” Shawn sing-songs, smirking, a glitter in his eyes. “Taken any painting classes lately?”

Lassiter hisses at him, and they launch into their traditional dance- Shawn making witty jabs, dancing out of reach with a smile and a wave of his tail, and Carlton growling, taking swipes at the other cat, all threats and the occasional dry quip.

Gus meows aside to Jules. “Lassiter really takes this detective stuff seriously, doesn’t he?”

Juliet sighs. “The last time he solved a ‘case’ was the fiasco with that Adam Hornstock’s tie.”

“The one Shawn shredded because it was ugly?”

“Exactly.”

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: what is this please take my laptop away from me. I don’t know if this will be continued or anything 
> 
> [come scream at me on tumblr](http://serpentinej.tumblr.com)


End file.
